I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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