if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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