I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
