Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
