Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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