I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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