i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
