That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Swine flu is the new snow day.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
