i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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