belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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