i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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