Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize