i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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