My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
