we're blogging at a bar
My vagina just recognized that song.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
