i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
