Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
