Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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