do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Randomize
