Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
