you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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