they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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