I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
