she was so not down for the gang bang
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
