I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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