he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
