just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
