Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
