Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
