cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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