You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
