I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
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