how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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