just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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