apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
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