okay pat passed out under dana's car
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Randomize
