we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
