so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize