i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also, beer. Big fan.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
