So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
