I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
