paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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