do herpes really smell.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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