I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
