Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize