I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
