Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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