Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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