I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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