did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
