Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
