Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
