My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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