Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
