I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize