I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
