Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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