Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
