Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
