We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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