spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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