i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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