So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize