I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
