my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
porn star boner night. come get it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
