Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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