just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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