is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
